fear and family
by turquoisenoise
Summary: Dick gets injected with Scarecrows new toxin. It falls on Jason to take care of him while Bruce makes an antitoxin. Bruce and Jason come to an understanding with each other. T for swear words (mostly Jason)


Fear

Scarecrow had escaped Arkham and had been working on a new fear toxin. Jason had heard it over the bat-coms, but decided to ignore it once golden boy responded. Timmy was in California with the teen titans and Damion was out with Superman's kid on some adventure. Jason had a nagging feeling and decided to stay in Gotham instead of meet up with the outlaws that night. He wouldn't admit that he was worried about his family, and made up some excuse about keeping an eye on some gang.

Over the com he heard Batman tell Oracle that Nightwing was injected with something and to make sure Agent A was ready. Batman finished thing quickly knocking the Scarecrow out with one strong punch. When Batman's kids got hurt, he got scary. He told Oracle to call the cops, and informed her that Nightwing was awake but completely irresponsive.

Alfred sent out a distress signal to the closest bats a few minutes later, and unluckily Jason was the only one in Gotham that could help. Jason didn't want to step foot in that stupid cave but felt that stupid family duty compulsion kick in.

When he came up in the motorcycle he was met with Alfred who looked so much older than normal. Alfred was old, but it had only been two weeks since Jason snuck in and had tea with him and he didn't look this old. It was shocking looking at him. He looked tired. Jason swallowed his sarcastic remarks that he was planning on throwing out one he was in the cave.

"Young master Jason." He said relieved.

"The new toxin seems to make the subject feel as if they are reliving every unpleasant memory they have ever had." Alfred informed him.

"I need you to watch the young master, so master Bruce and I can work on the cure. I'll go prepare the med bay. Will you go get the young master?" Alfred asked politely, even though it wasn't much of a question and more of a polite demand.

Jason cursed under his breath all the bats have been through and seen a lot, and the thought of re-living them made Jason shutter.

Alfred disappeared and Jason followed the screams into the main part of the cave. He stopped behind one of the rocks peeking around carefully. Assessing the situation before he dived into it. Normally spying on Bruce was impossible, but there were very rare moments like these that he didn't care about his surroundings.

"I hate you!" Dick was screaming over and over at the top of his lungs.

Dick was in cotton white medical clothes and Bruce was still in the bat suit with his mask off. Bruce was leaning on one of the cave walls holding Dick to his chest, pinning his arms between them so Dickie couldn't push away. One of his hands were securing dicks head to his shoulder while the other was wrapped firmly around his lower back hoisting him off the floor. Dicks bare feet barely touched the ground as he kicked angrily at Bruce's Kevlar covered shins.

Jason glared at them for a moment. He felt a wave of jealousy freeze him to the spot. He hated watching the worried look on Bruce's face. Dick was the only one who managed to make Bruce act like an emotional human instead of the emotionless ass he usually was.

The jealousy quickly vanished when dick started talking.

"I fucking hate you! You are a horrible dad. Let me _go_! You said you don't want a son, so let me go!" he screamed angrily.

"You took me in as a charity case now let me go! I don't _need_ you! You threw me out when I was 16 because you said it was too dangerous then adopted Jason a _month_ later. You don't even care!" his voice was breaking and Dick sounded so young.

"Let me go you bastard! You are not my dad! You just wanted a soldier to listen and when I grew up you just changed me for a new better model. I hate you! Let goooo! I hate you!"

Jason was shocked. He knew the story but now that it was said with emotion he felt like he could relate to Dick for the first time in a long time he knew how it felt when he was replaced with Tim. He never realized how much it hurt Dick.

"You only care about the stupid mission" Dick sneered.

"You don't care about a _nything_ or _anyone_ else! You would let this stupid makeshift family burn if it meant putting the Joker in Arkham for another day."

The screen on the computer was almost done running tests on Richards blood.

"Why would you take in a kid you didn't want? You should have left me in Juvie at least I knew I wasn't wanted there instead of the mind games you keep playing. You weren't even there at my graduation. You were never there for me! Let me go! You proved it time and time again that the mission is more important than my life! You broke every promise you ever made! I hate you. You told me I would always have a home then threw me out. You told me to trust you, but you never trusted me. You told me you would catch me, then replaced me! I hate you!" Dick was going from crying brokenheartedly to screaming angrily at Bruce who just held him closer.

Normally Jason would be happy to see Bruce upset, but this wasn't what he wanted. Bruce looked destroyed as he stood there holding on tightly to his golden child taking all the verbal abuse calmly only filching a few times. Bruce was practicing breathing techniques that he had taught Jason when he first became robin. Jason was always jealous of the relationship they both had it was like complete trust, but now Jason could see Bruce breaking and it wasn't as fun as he thought it would be.

"You left me alone! You promised! I hate you!" Dick screamed again as Jason finally got his body to move.

He could see that the bat-computer was done analyzing Dicks blood sample. It was almost over. Bruce needed to figure out an antitoxin fast.

"I got him." Jason said as he grabbed his flailing brother from their dad.

Dick tried to get away, but Jason just swooped his legs from under him and lifted him up. Jason was happy he was a lot bigger and physically stronger than Dick. It is one of the only things he has over Goldie who has a small acrobatic built.

Bruce looked at Jason relieved and thankful. Jason just nodded and went over to the infirmary.

Jason dropped Dick harshly onto the med-bays bed and started strapping him in. securing his arms and legs which took an embarrassingly long time.

"What you here to take my life! News flash you already took everything from me!" Dick snarled.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jason knew that he shouldn't be arguing with his brother in this state, but that comment made him snap.

"Oh, I don't know! You took my name and my first costume without bothering to ask! My mom gave me that name! and you just took it like it was nothing! The stupid suit that you wore was made after the flying Grayson's colors you had no right to take it away from me! Bruce fired me! I couldn't be robin anymore, but then you come along and take it like it was just some cool toy. It was mine! It was the only thing I had of my parents and you and Bruce took it from me."

Jason was shocked he never realized the impact taking the mantle of robin meant to Dick.

"I didn't know! If I knew I wouldn't have taken the damn thing" he defended himself.

"What about my friends!" Dick shot back.

"Roy? Cory? Ring a bell! They were _my_ best friend and girlfriend. You took that away from me too! You are close to Tim and Damion now too aren't you! You already took everything I ever care about! Let me out of this!" Dick was struggling hard to get out of the restraints but Jason made sure he was secured on the bed tightly.

"What more do you want! You have my name you have my friends you are the perfect older brother without even trying! I was always there for them, but now they go to you for help and comfort don't they! Tim hasn't talked to me in months I'm always calling him, but I know he went over to your place right! Congrats you have my life, now let me go!"

"it's not like that!" Jason yelled

"You like to parade around like you are the black sheep and the unloved one, but let's check the facts. Bruce adopted _you_ before he adopted me. I have been kidnaped and tortured by the joker more times than you have ever dealt with that clown. You killed people and are still welcomed into this family. I became a cop and Bruce shunned me for carrying a gun! You are so angry at Tim for replacing you, but you replaced me first, an" Dick didn't even finish his sentence and Jason blew up

"Enough!"

"What can't handle the truth? You are a hypocrite and a thief" Dick snarled.

Jason's fists flinched ready to punch his well deserving brother but was snapped back to reality when Dick started crying.

"Just let me die." He begged. All the fight washed out of Jason so fast he felt nauseous.

"I can't. I can't pretend to smile like everything is okay. I am broken. I just want to die. Please." He whispered between hiccups, but Jason heard every word loud and clear. Jason concluded he was going through shock because he felt cold and sweaty, his mouth was dry, he was dizzy, and was sure he was about the throw up any second. This wasn't his cocky brother. Did he really feel like that and the toxin just made him voice his inner turmoil?

"every year it gets worse. I keep thinking it can't be any worse, but every damn day things just spiral out of control. I can't do this. It's killing me. I had to smile for Bruce then for you, Tim and Damion cause if I wasn't who was going to. I'm tired! There really isn't a damn reason to smile! The world could burn down for all I care! cause once some hero puts out the flame there is only going to be a bigger hotter flame, then there will be a nuke, then when you think that's the worse there will be some other devastating catastrophe right after that! I'm tired of watching everyone die! I'm tired of pretending everything is going to be okay when it won't. I should have died with my family, then I should have died when I was robin, no nine-year-old should survive the world we live in but I did! I should have died so many times but I didn't. It's time, please. Jason please." He asked so brokenly it broke Jason.

Bruce was standing behind him probably heard everything, but Jason couldn't look at him right now. This was too much.

Bruce injected the cure into dicks arm and he fell asleep instantly.

Bruce dropped to the chair next to the bed heavily he reached out and grabbed Dicks' hand and rested his head on the gurney completely worn out.

Alfred walked in and was shuffling around for a bit.

"I think Scarecrow won." Bruce whispered defeated.

"Maybe the battle, but not the war Sir." Alfred assured.

Jason ran out of the room. The silence finally let his mind catch up with what Dick said and he couldn't take it, so like a coward he ran.

….

Alfred kept Jason posted on Dicks condition. Dick had a high fever and slipped into a coma for a few days. Bruce was a total mess. Just like Dick said both Tim and Damion ended up at his doorstep needing reassurance and asking what happened that night.

Jason finally had the guts to visit the manner. It was quiet and felt darker than usual.

He went down to the cave knowing Bruce and both robins were on patrol and walked into the med-bay.

Dick was shuffling in his sleep. Alfred told him the fever finally broke and now they were just waiting on Goldie to wake up. Jason sat in the chair that was already pulled up, probably where Bruce spent most of his time. He held his brother's hand reassuringly not wanting him to wake up alone.

It took about twenty minutes, but Dick finally opened his eyes looking around confused.

"Hi?" he asked

"Hey, Dickie bird. Welcome back to the world of the living." Jason joked but spoke calmly like talking to a kid trying not to spook his brother.

Dick gave him a dopey smile. Then looked around again confused.

"Wha happen?" he asked.

Jason got up much to Dicks distress and walked over to one of the cabinets. Grabbed a straw and water. Dickie looked relieved when Jason walked back into his line of vision. He helped his brother take a few sips of water then sat it down. Dick reached out for his hand again and Jason didn't protest it. Dick was a kinetic person the whole bat-family and justice league knew that. It was probably hard for him being with the bats who don't like to show human affection.

"What do you remember?" Jason asked cautiously.

Dick looked like trying to think, but it must have been too much for him because he ended up falling asleep.

Jason exhaled relieved that his brother didn't answer his question. He didn't know what he would do or say if Dick said yes. Jason sat with him until he heard Batman over the com say he was on his way home.

…..

A few days later Dick had was given a full bill of health. Alfred told Jason that he doesn't remember anything due to the high fever.

…

Jason was technically younger than Dick, but he had become very protective. He even blurted out an apology for taking Dicks name and uniform. Richard looked shocked. He tried to ask questions, but Jason threatened to shoot him in the foot if he didn't shut up, take the apology, and drop it.

Jason started stopping by the manner more often. He also stopped going out of his way to avoid his family. Jason could see that Bruce treated Dick differently and, was more affectionate toward him. Jason thought it was hilarious because Bruce would ruffle his hair or tell him good job and Dick would freak out a little then would try and hide how happy he was.

Jason even went to the family movie night at the manor. After the movie everyone but Bruce and him had fallen asleep. Oddly enough Tim and Damion were cuddling next to Bruce's side and Dick had buried his head in Bruce's chest sleeping peacefully. Before Jason would have gotten jealous and probably would have obnoxiously woken everyone up, but now he just ended up looking at Bruce who threw a blanket over the youngest family members then pulled Richard closer to him so he was in a more comfortable position. Bruce looked over at Jason and smiled. Jason smiled back. His family was safe and at the moment peaceful.

"I'm proud of you Jason." Jason heard Bruce say right before he was pulled into the best sleep he has had in years.

Bruce and Jason never realized how hurt and bottled up Dicks emotions were, but now that they knew they worked together to make sure no one in the family will ever feel that way again.


End file.
